


Maybe I do

by Jelixpo



Category: PewDiePie - Fandom, jacksepticeye, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Heavy dialogue, M/M, self discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-03-14 13:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jelixpo/pseuds/Jelixpo
Summary: After Jack moves to his new home of Brighton, his good friend Felix is eager to show him around the place and to help him feel at home. As Jack begins to delve into a new path of self-discovery, he uncovers truths about himself he didn't know before. With these truths, comes a whole new set of feelings that he isn't sure how to deal with, or how to tell his friend close friend about.





	1. A New Home

**Author's Note:**

> ~Author's note:  
> This is a fictional story that will feature the Jelix ship, or Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie. This ship is in no way real and will never be real since neither Jack or Felix are homosexual or bisexual. Full respect to the very real relationship between Jack and Signe (wiishu) and Felix and Marzia (Marzia). Do not tag or @ the people mentioned in this story, as they have stated in the past that this makes them uncomfortable.  
> Thank you.~

_"Hello folks, this is your captain speaking. As you can see, we have finally arrived at the Brighton Airport. The time is currently 3:45 pm and we're sitting at a nice 3 degrees. Please do not exit your seats until the seat-belt sign has turned off. We thank you for flying with us today,"_ A male voice spoke over the speakers as the aeroplane slowly pulled up to the airport, allowing the passengers on it to disembark once it was safe to do so.

It took a little while for the people in front of Jack to gather their belongings and exit the plane, but very soon he found himself walking through the tunnel towards the inside of the airport.

'Home,' Jack thought to himself, sighing contentedly as he made his way to the end of the hallway. After exiting and walking out into the airport lobby, he peered around at the people surrounding him, looking for a familiar face.

"Jack!" He heard someone shout, turning to where he had heard it come from, stood a blond, bearded Swede, waving at him. Jack returned the gesture and proceeded to make his way over to his friend, "Hey man! How was your flight?" The Swede, whose name was Felix, asked while leaning in to hug his friend.

"It was a little boring, but I'm super glad to be here," Jack replied, returning the favour as the two embraced each other for a moment.

"I'm glad you're here too. It's awesome that you moved here!" Felix said happily, "C'mon, let's go get your luggage and then grab something to eat," Felix said, turning and walking further into the airport, with Jack close behind him.

"Oh thank god, Jack replied, relieved, "I haven't eaten all day. I thought I was gonna starve to death on that plane ride,"

"Wouldn't that have been a great start, huh? You finally move out to Brighton and you don't even get to land before you're fucked over," Felix joked.

They made their way to the luggage pick-up and quickly retrieved Jack's suitcase, talking all the way. They went to the "mall" part of the airport and decided on a fast food restaurant.

"So, when's all your stuff gonna get here?" Felix asked as hey sat down at a metal table with their trays of food.

"Apparently it should be here at about 7-ish tonight," Jack replied, making an iffy hand motion before he took a bite of his burger.

"Oh, nice dude! When do you think you're gonna start unpacking?" Felix asked, taking a bite of his own food and sipping his drink.

"I was thinking I would start tonight, just so I can get a head start on it. Plus, I only have videos ready for the next 5 days or so, so I gotta make sure that my recording stuff is set up pronto," Jack replied again.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll come help you then," Felix said, continuing to eat.

"Oh, dude, you don't have to do that," Jack said, putting down his drink and waving his hand in protest.

"No, it's alright. I want to help," Felix reassured him.

"Aw, thanks, man! Now I'll get all my stuff set up way faster," Jack replied happily.

The two men quickly finished their food and threw their trash away soon afterwards. Making their way out of the airport and into the parking lot, they both walked over to Felix's vehicle and hopped in, Felix driving away from the airport to take Jack to his new house.

"After you're done setting everything up, do you have any plans here?" Felix asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I honestly have no fucking clue. I'm just super excited about the possibilities," Jack replied, practically bouncing in his seat at the mere thought of everything.

"Well, hey, if you ever need someone to collab with, just gimmie a call," Felix said, smiling over at the Irishman.

"Oh, trust me, I've been thinking about it the whole plane ride," Jack replied.

"Oh, dude!" Felix said suddenly, as if remembering something he had forgotten, "I've totally gotta take you to see the Brighton tower! Have you ever been?" Felix asked excitedly.

"No, I don't think I have," Jack replied curiously.

" 'Kay, after we get you unpacked, I am totally gonna take you there. You'd die over the scenery," Felix says, excitement present on his face as he thinks about the future plans.

It wasn't long before Felix pulled his car up into Jack's new driveway and, much to their astonishment, the semi holding all of Jack's belongings had actually beaten them there. They sat back in their car and waited until the delivery men were finished unloading all of the boxes, and waived to them as they drove away. Exiting the vehicle, Jack practically skipped up to the entrance of his new home.

"Dude, I'm so fucking giddy!" Jack giggled, walking through the entrance of his home and taking it all in, "Like, I own a fucking house now! How cool is that shit!" He spoke in a sing-song happy voice. Felix crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, laughing at the excitement of the Irishman.

"It is pretty awesome," Felix replied happily, "But now we gotta make it livable!" He said, walking over to one of the boxes. Jack unzipped and reached into the suitcase he had been carried and lifted out two xacto knives and handed one to Felix. The Swede quickly sliced into the box and opened it up.

Minutes turned into hours as the two worked to slice and unpack as many boxes as they could, as well as providing decoration to the place. Lamps, figurines, pictures, candles, you name it! The boxes seemed to be completely endless as the two unboxed item after item. After unboxing an undetermined amount of pieces, they would go around the house and place them in spots. Not necessarily for a permanent place, but more so as just a placeholder. They did this so they would actually have room to unpack more boxes. After about 5 hours, landing them at around 10:45 pm, the two finally decided to call it a night. Slumping down on the couch they had unpacked, they looked around at the work they had done. Even after working for so long, it seemed like they had made the smallest of dents in the pile of boxes that still needed to be opened. However, as small as their work seemed, they had still managed to set up almost all of Jack's recording items, a little bit of furniture for the living room, and a small portion of Jack's bedroom, his actual bed being the first thing in there of course.

"Damn dude, I don't think we're ever gonna finish unpacking these," Felix sighed, exhaustion present in his voice.

"Don't say that! We'll get through it eventually," Jack replied, leaning forward and picking up the landline phone, "You want some 'za?" He asked, looking over at Felix.

"Sure, why not. Anything is good," The Swede replied, waving his hand around as he did. 

Jack called a local late-night pizza place and placed his order, then set his landline back in its place as they waited for their order to arrive. About 15 minutes later, Jack was getting up to answer a knock on his door and walked back into the living room with a pizza box and two sodas. The two sat together in silence, just enjoying their food as they laid there on the couch, both of them exhausted out of their minds.

"So," Felix started after a while, "Now that you're here, I can introduce you to all of the hot Brighton chicks. Show you how to woo 'em," He said, smirking a little, "Maybe even finally get you a girlfriend," He joked, a hint of dejection present in his voice. Jack thought nothing of it, assuming the Swede was just tired. The Irishman chuckled in response.

"Oh, because you've had so much luck _'wooin' 'em'_?" Jack teased back, raising a cheeky eyebrow at his friend. Felix glared back at him sarcastically.

"Shut the fuck up," Felix jokingly snapped, swatting Jack's shoulder. Jack couldn't contain his laughter at his friend's expense. Felix looked down at his watch, "Well, I should probably head home now. I got videos to record in the morning," He said, lazily standing up from the couch and stretching. Jack followed his actions and walked his friend to the door of his house.

"Night dude," Jack said as he watched Felix walk out to his car.

"See ya man. I'll be back tomorrow to help with those boxes," Felix replied slipping into his car and backing out of the driveway, then driving away into the night.

Jack closed the door behind him and locked it. Shutting off all of the lights behind him, Jack made his way upstairs to his bed and lazily crawled in, too tired to change. Before he knew it, he was drifting off into a peaceful sleep.


	2. Who am I, why am I here?

The sun came glaring in through his window, forcing the sleepy Irishman awake. Groaning, he screwed his eyes shut and pulled the blanket up and over his face. This didn't help, however, as his breathing caused the air under the blanket to quickly grow warm, stuffy and uncomfortable. Disgruntled and defeated, he sat up in his bed and stretched, trying to blink away his drowsiness. He sniffled slightly and looked over and out his window, smiling at the warm light that illuminated his room. Bending over to look at his phone, Jack came to the realization that is was 9:23 am. He lifted himself off the bed, not bothering to make it as he sauntered over to the bathroom. He still had to walk all the way back downstairs, though, since his suitcase was still down there, and carry it back up to the bathroom to get ready.

A few moments later, Jack was stepping back out of the bathroom, smelling nice, looking clean, and ready for the day ahead of him. He wasted no time in getting back down to business as he picked up his Exacto knife from where he had left in on the couch last night and began again at the painstakingly long process of slicing open and unpacking the boxes. Without Felix there to lend a set of hands this time, the process went a little slower, but nonetheless, Jack still worked away.

'I can't believe it,' Jack thought to himself, his mind wandering as he worked, 'I'm finally here, finally in Brighton, finally at home,' after unpacking the box in front of him completely, he started to walk around the house and find spots to put all the pieces in, 'It feels so strange living in a new place with barely anyone I know around me. It'll be good for thinking, I guess,'

'What Felix said last night was funny, about the hot chicks in Brighton,' He walked back to the living room and sat cross-legged in front of another box, 'Funny enough, I've never actually had a girlfriend, not even in Highschool. I wonder if I even can find a woman for me,' He pulled out a bunch of old photo albums, all of which displayed his family and his younger years, '...I wonder, is there even a woman for me at all...' Jack slowed his movements slightly, allowing himself to think more in-depth.

'I mean, I never really was like the other guys in school who would gawk at the girls when they so much as showed their shoulders. But that's more of a maturity thing, isn't it? Just having a general respect for other people's boundaries,' Once again finding himself in front of an empty box, he set out to decorate the house, 'But still, the girls were still pretty, but I never felt that _special_ feeling that everyone talked about; when your heart picks up and you get the butterflies in your gut,' Jack placed the photo albums in a corner for the time being, 'Am I even attracted to girls at all?' He questioned himself. He didn't expand on it too much, however, as a new thought quickly took its place, 'Actually, I wonder why Felix hasn't gotten a girlfriend yet. I mean, he's really good-looking, and he's a really great guy to be around. He just makes people super happy when he's around them; at least, for me he does. I wonder why some lucky girl hasn't snatched him up yet,'

He didn't get to think about that for too long, either, since his doorbell rang and shot him out of his thoughts. Walking over and answering it, he smiled as he was greeted by a familiar face.

"I thought you might be hungry," Felix said, holding up a bag of two subway sandwiches and a pair of drinks. It was then that Jack realised he hadn't actually eaten anything since he got up.

"Hell yeah dude! Come on in," Jack replied, stepping aside to let his friend into his house. Glancing down at his watch, he was astonished to find that it was already 12:07 pm, "Did you just come to be the delivery boy?" He asked, closing the door.

"Nah, I came to help you with this mess," Felix stated, making a sweeping gesture towards the piles of boxes as he did so.

"Aw, dude you didn't have to do that!" Jack hastily replied, hoping that he hadn't somehow made his friend think that he had to help him move in. Felix whipped around, as if offended

"What, and just let my friend drown in cardboard and boredom? Yeah right. See, I'm an actually decent human being," Felix sarcastically snapped back, causing Jack to laugh.

"Well, I do appreciate the help," Jack followed Felix into his unfinished living room and they once again slumped down on his couch, munching on their food as they talked about various different topics. It did not take them long to finish eating, and they were soon back into the same routine of slicing open boxes, unpacking them, and finding them a home.

"Dude, when we're done here, I have GOT to take you to the Brighton pier," Felix said after a bit, trying to spark a conversation, "They have this really cool arcade section that I know you'd go nuts over. And they have all these really cool rides,"

"That sounds awesome!" Jack replied enthusiastically, excited at the thought of getting to spend a day just goofing around with Felix in Brighton.

"Oh, oh! And there's this really good Vietnamese place that we need to go to. The food there is just," Felix stopped to kiss his fingers, causing Jack to giggle.

"That good, huh?" Jack asked, giggling.

"Hell yeah dude! Oh, and there's this really cool book place like a couple blocks down from here," Felix stated, gesturing in the direction of the bookstore, "Dude, once we're done here, I'm taking you everywhere in Brighton. It'll be like a date," Jack couldn't understand why his cheeks went pink at the thought of a date with Felix, but he laughed in response anyway.

"Unless it ends in a blowjob, I'm not going," Jack jokingly replied back.

"Oh, trust me, it will," Felix replied back, smirking and lifting his eyebrows suggestively. Jack giggled, "So, why did you want to move out here again?" Felix asked, changing the subject.

"It's kinda been a long time coming, y'know? Like, I always felt so stuck creatively in Ireland, I just had to get out. This seemed like the best option," Jack replied honestly, "I also felt really lonely after a while, I don't know why though,"

"Lonely? But weren't you and that Signe girl really good friends?" Felix asked, sounding confused.

"Well, yeah, Signe and I have been friends forever, and she'll always have my back, but... I don't know. I needed something more," Jack replied.

"Ooh, like a girlfriend? Don't worry dude, I'll hook you up now that you're here," Felix stated confidently.

"Actually, now that you bring it up, why don't you have a girlfriend?" Jack asked, looking over at his friend. Felix became obviously uncomfortable.

"Well, I-I don't know dude. I just never clicked with any girls yet, I guess?" Felix hesitantly replied, "Like, no one has ever been my type,"

"Oh, sorry dude. I didn't know that was a touchy subject for you," Jack apologised, seeing his friend's discomfort.

"Nah, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting a question like that all of a sudden," Felix reassured. A silence passed between them.

"So... what is your type?" Jack asked.

"Well," Felix started, "I like brown hair, but I'm good with weird colours too, like green or blue. I really like piercing blue eyes, too. I'd probably want them a little shorter than me, but not by a bunch,"

"And what about personality?" Jack asked.

"I was getting there," Felix replied, "I'd probably want someone really enthusiastic, but not like all the time. Someone who really cares about other people,"

"Yeah, that makes sense," Jack stated.

"What about you, what's your type?" Felix asked.

"Well... I don't really know yet. I haven't dated anyone ever, so I don't really know what I want yet," Jack replied.

"Yeah, I was that way for a long time, too. But then I met... people. Like on different dates and stuff," Felix stated.

The rest of the night just went on like that, with the two friends jumping from topic to topic as they unboxed and put away and cleaned up. The conversation so easily switched lanes and speeds between the two, neither of them being too uncomfortable to talk about what the other wanted to discuss. Eventually, at around 9:35 pm, Felix called it a day and drove home, leaving Jack alone once more. Seeing as he was already so tired of unboxing, he got himself ready for bed and snuggled into his half-finished bedroom, sleep quickly coming to him as his body had been so exerted from the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the second one done! I know this is kind of a slow burn story, but I promise the next chapter will be more eventful


	3. I Don't Need It

He had settled into a very good rhythm, one that kept him alert while he performed the mundane task. After waking up at 9:30-ish Jack had gotten right back to opening all of the boxes and rearranging everything. About two hours had passed now, and he had stopped keeping track of the number of boxes he had left long ago, choosing instead to just focus on his task, rather than focus on how long it would take. Getting up from his sitting position, he wandered around his house with the items he had unpacked in his hands and set them in the places he thought was best. Walking back into the living room, Jack sat back down in his regular spot and reached out for another box... but found himself grasping at air. Confused, he looked over at where all the boxes were, and immediately jumped up, pumping his fist into the air as he did so. To his extreme delight, there were no more full boxes to be found. He was officially moved into his new home! Jack walked around and into every room in his house, inspecting the spots in which he and Felix had placed his items. Overall, he was mostly happy with the places most of the items were in, however, he did have to move a figurine or two.

Leaving the collapsed cardboard in his living room as a problem for another day, Jack sat down in his recording studio, happy to finally have a chance to do so. Ever since he had arrived, just having the change of scenery had given him a burst of creativity. Ever since he stepped off the plane, he had craved the moment when he could sit down and record a video. Flipping through his game notebook, he found a little Indie game that he thought looked interesting. After purchasing it, he turned on his recording equipment.

\---

An hour and a half of recorded footage later, Jack was finally able to place the audio and video files into the folder he and Robin shared, allowing his friend access to his creation. An hour and a half would either get chopped down to two or three episodes, with each series episode going up every two days or so. Just one more day of recording and he would probably have videos ready for the next 3 days after his already pre-recorded videos go up. Before he could think to do anything else, however, he heard his doorbell ring. Walking over to answer it, he was once again greeted by a familiar face.

"I bring good tidings of great joy," Felix said, holding up a Wendy's bag and 2 bottles of pop. Laughing, Jack once again stepped to the side to allow his friend into his house.

"Food: the only thing that brings me true joy in this world," Jack joked, earning a laugh from the Swede. Felix immediately walked into the living room but very quickly stopped in his tracks after looking around.

"Dude, where the fuck is all the boxes?" Felix asked, very confused.

"Oh, I finished with those already," Jack stated. Felix whipped around a happy look of shock on his face.

"YOU FINISHED?!" Felix shouted. Jack smiled and nodded, "Oh, my god, dude. Okay, after we're finished eating, we're fucking OUT of here!" Felix stated happily, slumping down on the couch and marvelling at the finally finished room he was in.

"Oh, so right after I finish my house you want to take me out of it?" Jack asked, walking over and sitting next to his friend.

"Hell yeah dude!" Felix exclaimed, "I promised to show you the best places in town, didn't I? I'm fucking keeping that promise," He said excitedly, unwrapping his burger and taking a bite.

"Well, alright then," Jack replied, grabbing a burger from the bag and unwrapping it, "Where are we going?" He asked before taking a bite.

"I'm glad you asked!" Felix boasted, "Since I didn't think we'd be done moving you in for a while, I can't book anything like the pier or the tower or whatever, so I think I'll take you to that book place I was talking about. It'll be good to get you something to occupy yourself while you're here,"

"Sounds like a plan!" Jack replied, excited. 

The two of them quickly finished the food that they were working on and threw out their trash. Then, after slipping on their coats and shoes, they climbed into Felix's van and drive the two blocks down to the book place, which was a storefront called The Book Nook. After finding a place to park, the two stepped out onto the sidewalk and walked inside the cosy little store. The inside had the pleasant smell of the different scents of books, both old an new. A nice purple, green, and black aesthetic ran throughout the store, lining the walls with different patterns of stripes, dots, and shapes. While it was called The Book Nook, and a majority of the store was just aisles full of books, it also had a little section for music, a little section for figurines, a little section of bean bags and chairs for reading, and a couple of Keurigs near the reading section for anyone who wanted to sip at a nice cup of tea, coffee, or cocoa while they delved through their pages.

"Dude, come look at these," Felix said softly, not wanting to disturb the readers around them, taking hold of Jack's hand and bringing him over to the figurines. The sudden physical contact caused a pink hue to appear on Jack's cheeks, but he paid it no mind, "Aren't these so cool?" Felix spoke softly but with enthusiasm, pointing at the many different figurines. Some of them were your generic anime school girls, standing in cute positions, while others were knights in full armour, kneeling down to be endowed, warriors in loin clothes and face paint, ready to strike down their enemies, lizards and dragons of every size. The size of the figurines ranged from about an inch and a half to two ft tall.

"These are awesome!" Jack replied quietly, picking up a particularly interesting dragon figurine, "I see why you like them so much!" He said.

"Yeah, I've kinda been collecting these little guys," Felix stated, picking up a figurine of an interesting looking robot man, made out of different geometric shapes, "I just thought they looked so cool,"

"They definitely do," Jack replied happily. Setting the dragon figurine back down, he walked over to the music section of the store. Different albums and CD's lined the walls, as well as different vinyls. Picking up a vinyl, he was immediately surprised by the name of said item, "Dude they have game music on vinyls??" Jack asked quietly, astonished.

"Yeah, dude! They have stuff like Skyrim, The Last of Us, different stuff like that," Felix said, flicking through a few different cases of them.

"Oh my gosh that's awesome," Jack replied, completely in awe. He set the vinyl back down, "I have got to come get a record player from here. Not today! But someday," He said. Looking over, he then walked over to the many aisles of books. Scanning the different titles as he walked along and dragging his fingers against the spines of the books, one particular one caught his eye. He pulled it out and scanned over the title " _How to Make a Movie without Making a Movie: The Joseph Peters Guide to Camera Angles_ ," Jack read aloud, Felix looking over his shoulder at the book as well.

"That looks interesting," the Swede said, watching as Jack flipped open to the middle of the book and looked over the different pictures in it.

"Yeah... I'mma get this," Jack stated, closing the book and holding it down at his side.

"Cool. Hey, I'm gonna go look for a book that I saw last time I was here. Catch you in a bit," Felix stated, then walked out of that book aisle and into another.

Jack continued along the shelves, scanning over the many different books that lined them. Of course, each shelf had a different genre labelled on it, making it easy for one to discern the type of books that that shelf held. After walking to the end of one aisle, he turned into the next one and found himself in the 'horror' genre. Immediately a book caught his eye and he pulled out a thick, black book which held a kneeling man on its cover. The title read _Lord Have Mercy on Me_. Flipping it over Jack, read the summary of how a crazed pastor did horrible things to the people in his church who he thought had sinned. It definitely looked like an interesting read, so he decided that he would purchase that book as well. Content with his choices, Jack roughly scanned the rest of the shelves along the aisle, not needing to purchase any more books.

However, as he neared the end of the aisle, the genre changed from 'horror' to 'self-help'. He didn't think much of it until one book title stopped him dead in his tracks. Cautiously, as if he was approaching an injured animal, he pulled the book from the shelf. _Discovering Yourself: Uncovering your True Sexual Identity_. He looked over the cover closely, contemplating his desition.

'I mean, I have been questioning lately...' Jack thought to himself, flipping through the book slightly, 'It would make sense to buy something like this... but Felix is here. What if he sees it? What will he think?' Jack bit his lip, worried, '... I don't need it. I can think through all this on my own,' He decided, slipping the book back into the spot where he found it. He quickly stepped out of the aisle, as if hoping no one had seen him or the book he had thought about getting. Looking back over at the entrance to the shop, he saw Felix was already there, waiting for him. After going to the counter and purchasing the books that he had, he joined Felix at the entrance.

"Sooo, what'd ya think?" Felix asked as they walked out together.

"I see why you like that store so much! That was awesome!" Jack replied happily, looking into the bag that carried his books.

"I told you! Did you get everything you wanted?" Felix asked. In his head, Jack thought 'No, I didn't,'

"Yeah, for this time around," Jack said out loud, following Felix back to his car.

"Nice! And even if you didn't, you only live like a half hour walk away from here, and its open 24 hours a day, so you could come back here anytime you wanted," Felix said, taking his keys out of his pocket and unlocking the van, then hopping in.

"Yeah, that's good," Jack replied, thinking about what Felix had said. The car ride back to Jack's place was uneventful, with the boys just talking about the types of books they liked to read. It wasn't long before Felix pulled back into Jack's driveway.

"Well, I'm probably gonna head home now," Felix said, rolling down his window as he watched Jack step out of his car.

"I'll see you around then," Jack replied happily, waving to Felix as he walked up to his door and unlocked it, then stepped inside. The Swede waved back as he pulled out of the driveway, then drove away.

Jack sat down on his couch and pulled out his phone, absentmindedly scrolling through Twitter as he did so. He couldn't focus his mind, however, as different thoughts buzzed through his head. He set his phone down and leaned back, staring up at his white ceiling.

"...Should I go back to get it?" He though out loud to himself, pursing his lips at the thought, "I mean... It would really help me sort things out... put things in perspective... Felix wouldn't have to know..." He sighed, frustrated with himself, "You know what? No. I was right, to begin with, I don't need it," He finished. Looking down at his watch, he read 8:47 pm, "I'm just gonna go to bed. Get my mind off of it," He said, standing up from his couch and marching upstairs. He was determined not to buy the book.

\---

Two hours later, Jack found himself returning home for the second time, book in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is!! The third chapter!!  
> I told you stuff would finally start happening :)


	4. Let's Get Physical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!!! i was productive as shit in writing today!!! hell yeah!!!
> 
> p.s for all ya'll americans, kph means kilometers per hour, and theres 1.6 k in 1 mile, if that helps ya'll with the conversion

*BZZZZZT*  
*BZZZZZT*  
*BZZZZZT*

Jack mumbled and groaned, pulling the blankets up and over his head to try and block out the noise coming from his phone. Whoever was calling could just call back later. To his relief, his phone eventually stopped buzzing. He settled back into his warm, comfy bed, quickly slipping back into a peaceful-

*BZZZZZT*  
*BZZZZZT*  
*BZZZZZT*

He flopped his hand down on his nightstand, feeling around for the buzzing device. He soon gripped it in his hand and pressed the talk button, bringing the phone up to his ear.

"Hullo...?" He asked, his eyes still closed as he mumbled out the word.

**"WAKE UP!!"**

Jack yelped as his eyes shot forward, involuntarily tossing the phone away from him in shock, causing it to clatter to the floor. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, reaching back down and lifting the device back up. Thankfully, it hadn't shattered.

"F-Felix?" He asked confusedly.

"That's me!" The energetic Swede spoke back over to the phone.

"Wh-what the fuck are you... why are... wh-what time is it?" Jack asked, squinting as he tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness in his room.

"It's 6:30," Felix replied calmly.

"In the morning?! Why the fuck are you calling me at 6:30 in the fucking morning?" Jack snapped back, obviously very irritated that his sleep had been disturbed.

"You told me you wanted to get back in shape, right?" Felix asked.

"Yeah?" Jack replied, extremely confused.

"Well, then get dressed! I'm outside your house right now," Felix replied happily. Jack made an extremely confused noise as he sat up in his bed.

"Where are we going at 6 fucking 30 in the morning?" Jack asked, groggily standing up from his bed and stammering over to his closet.

"To the gym of course! To get you back in shape!" Felix replied.

**"Wh-what?!"** Jack stammered, completely thrown off guard.

"Yeah! So get dressed quick! Or I'll come in there and drag you out myself!" Felix hastily replied before hanging up the phone. Jack took his phone away from his ear and stared down at it in complete confusion. He sighed, then set it down as he ruffled through his closet, trying to find clothes that were suitable for workouts.

It wasn't long before he was stepping out into the crisp morning air, the only light available outside being the streetlights and the lights from Felix's car. Speaking of the Swede, he was completely decked out in a thick, skin-tight, black tracksuit with a primary blue stripe going down the side of it. He waved happily to the unhappy Irishman, who had simply slipped into a baggy white shirt and a pair of green basketball shorts. Jack walked over and slid into the passenger's seat of Felix's car.

"Good morning!" Felix spoke cheerily, earning a tired glare from the Irishman.

"There's nothing good about waking up at 6:30 am," Jack replied, honestly trying his best to not act like a total bitch baby as drowsiness pulled at the back of his mind.

"Well, I get to see y-... your amazing house, so that's a good thing!" Felix replied hastily, seeming to embarrass himself. Jack was too tired to notice.

Felix tried to make light conversation as they drove, but Jack was in no mood to do anything of the sorts. They eventually settled into a nice silence, Jack relieved that he got some peace this early in the morning, and Felix respecting his friend's unspoken wishes. Soon enough, they were pulling into the parking lot of the gym. Only about 6 or 7 other cars were there with them in the parking lot.

"Ready to get fucking ripped dude?" Felix asked playfully.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Jack sighed, slightly more awake than before, but still drowsy.

"C'mon, let's do a warm-up first," Felix said, grabbing hold of Jack's hand and leading him into the gym. He led Jack over to the empty row of treadmills and hopped on one of them, pushing Jack over to hop on the one next to him, "Ready?" Felix asked, turning to look over at his sleepy friend.

"Uh y-yeah," Jack stuttered out, straightening his back and blinking in surprise slightly, suddenly coming to the realisation that they were, in fact, about to work out at the gym. For some reason, his tired mind had not come to that conclusion until now. He watched as Felix set his pace at a good 6 kph, which was a good walking speed to get them both started. Jack set his the same as Felix's.

"I like to come to the gym in the mornings before work," Felix said, trying to start a conversation, "It helps me get more energized for the day, and I feel better," He stated.

"So do you come every morning?" Jack asked back.

"During the week, I come here every morning for sure, but weekends kinda depend on what I feel like. I usually do come, tho. It just feels good," Felix replied, reaching forward and upping his speed to 9 kph so that he was starting a light jog. Jack followed suit, not wanting to chicken out or seem lesser.

"Do you ever go later in the day?" Jack asked.

"Not usually. Too many people at that point. If it's not the '9 to 5's taking up the space then it's the retailers. No one really comes here this early in the morning to work out," Felix replied. 

'Gee, I wonder why' Jack thought to himself sarcastically.

A moment of silence passed between the two, with them just jogging at a light pace. Although he did his best to hide it, Jack was beginning to tire out. Over the past few months, Jack had really let himself go in terms of his physical health, which was now coming back to bite him. 'It's good, I'm good,' Jack mentally tried to calm himself, 'as long as we stay at this speed, I'm okay,'. As if the bastard himself had heard it, Felix reached forward and upped his speed again to 12 kph, beginning into a run. Mentally cursing to himself, but not wanting to lose face, Jack reached forward and upped his speed as well. His calves were already beginning to scream at him in anger, but he ignored them.

"This is my favourite part actually," Felix sighed, no hint of struggle or panting in his voice, "The warm-up run. There's no straining or anything, and it allows me to just sit back and think. It's really peaceful,"

"Y-yeah," Jack replied, trying his best to sound as calm as Felix did.

'Peaceful?!' Jack screamed to himself, 'Who in their right mind would say this fucking shit is peaceful?! I feel like I'm gonna die!' He thought as his legs began to burn. Looking over, he felt like he wanted to bite Felix's hand off as he once again watched the Swede reach up and bump the speed to a horrifying 16 kph. And of course, like the dumbass he was, he also upped his speed to 16kph. At this point, no matter how he tried to hide it, his panting was becoming very audible and noticeable.

"Dude, you good?" Felix asked, noticing how red his friend was turning.

"Y-yeah man! N-never been *ugh* better!" Jack replied, plastering the biggest grin on his face that he could muster.

"You don't have to go my speed, y'know. This is your first time at the gym, so you should probably slow down and build up your endurance so you can-"

"I said **I'm good!** " Jack shouted back chipperly, cutting Felix off mid-sentence. Honestly, in this moment, he just wanted the Swede to shut up.

"... If you say so," Felix replied hesitantly, knowing full well that that was a lie, but not wanting to annoy his friend anymore.

'I CAN do it," Jack thought to himself, his whole body screaming at him to stop, ' **I can do it!** ' He thought, his whole face going bright red as he ran his heart out ' **I CAN D-** '

He tripped over his shoelace. Who knows when the damn thing had come loose, he as hell didn't. He smashed his chin against the handlebars of the treadmill as he tumbled down, biting his tongue in the process. The track underneath him did not stop, causing him to go flying off of it in the opposite direction to the way he had been facing previously. Flipping onto his back, he skidded across the carpeted gym floor, eventually screeching to a halt as his momentum was stopped by the friction of fabric on fabric. Dazed, he simply laid on the ground, his whole body numb as he tried to take into account what in the hell had actually just happened. He blinked, and suddenly Felix's face was very close to his, the Swede's eyes staring back into his own with extreme concern.

**"Sean!"** Felix half shouted, trying to get the attention of his friend. Jack blinked in surprise, his senses finally coming alive. He audibly groaned as twinges of pain shot up all over his already sore body. His chin felt like it had practically been shot, "Are you okay?" Felix asked. Jack could feel one of Felix's hands resting on top of his chest and, for some reason, that made him feel better.

"Y-yeah," Jack groaned out, shifting around uncomfortably on the floor.

"Are you sure? That was a pretty nasty fall," Felix said, looking over at Jack's body, checking for any clear signs of an injury, "Next time, you're slowing that shit down," Felix commanded, giving Jack a stern look. Much to his displeasure, Jack merely chuckled at his friend's enforcement.

"Okay mom," Jack replied cheekily, "And please tell me no one saw that," Jack said, cringing as he realized how incredibly embarrassing it all was. Felix looked up from his friend and scanned the area around them.

"Only me," Felix replied back. He slid a hand under Jack's back and slowly helped the sore Irishman sit up. Jack couldn't understand why, but the feeling of Felix sliding his cool hand gently across his sore and aching back both soothed him and made his mind go crazy. He tried to shake off the feeling.

"Note to self, never doing that again," Jack joked, earning him a laugh from his friend.

"You can do it again just don't be a dumbass," Felix replied, chuckling.

"Wow. Thanks for being gentle Felix. Makes me feel so good," Jack replied sarcastically, attempting to stand back up. The Swede stood up before him and stretched out his hand, helping his friend stand back up.

"No problem man," Felix said, patting Jack's shoulder, "You still up for the rest?" He asked.

"We have to do more of this shit?!" Jack groaned, looking over at Felix, pouting like a young child.

"We don't have to if you're not feeling up to it anymore," Felix reassured, rubbing circles on his friend's back. Jack thought for a moment, trying not to focus on Felix's cool hand, then he sighed.

"Yeah, we can keep going," He finally stated, nodding his head slightly.

"Alright. You let me know if you ever want to stop though, okay?" Felix requested, genuinely concerned about Jack's well being.

"Sure thing," Jack replied, doing his best to stand up straight and look better than how he felt.

After turning off their treadmills and grabbing their things, Felix led Jack over to another area in the gym that had shelves filled with different sizes of weights, as well as cushiony mats were laid out on the ground around them.

"Now you **don't have to** grab the same weight that I do," Felix reassured, trying to make sure that they didn't have another incident.

"I know," Jack replied sheepishly, shaking his head in annoyance at his own stupidity from before.

"Here, I'll help you pick one out," Felix said. He led Jack over to the shelves and looked them over, "Now, for weightlifting, we do sets and reps. Reps are the number of times that you perform the same action, and sets are how many times you perform your reps. So if you do 12 reps in 3 sets, you end up doing 36 reps. Make sense so far?" Felix looked over at his friend for approval. After receiving a small nod from Jack, he continued, "Lower rep numbers like 6-12 usually lead to muscle building, while higher rep numbers like 13-20 leads more to endurance. If you're doing 3 sets, you wanna choose a weight that you think will allow you to get through the first and second set, but won't allow you to completely finish the third one,"

"What? Why?" Jack asked.

"You want to challenge yourself and make it so that you're actually working toward a goal. By choosing a weight that you'll eventually tire out from, you can start to build yourself up so that you'll eventually be able to lift the weight with ease. After that, you need to move up a weight," Felix explain, "Understand?"

"I'm... pretty sure. Yeah," Jack replied hesitantly, trying to fully internalize everything that Felix just explained to him. 

Smiling, Felix leaned forward and grabbed his own set of weights, then walked over to a soft looking bench, sat down, and began lifting. Jack looked back over at the shelf and skimmed over the different weight sizes, occasionally picking up one and testing it. When he found the set that he thought felt best, he walked over to the bench Felix was on and began lifting as well, occasionally looking over at his friend and trying to copy his movements. They stayed there for a little bit, simply lifting weights together and talking. After finishing with their weights, they returned them and sat back down on the ground and began to do push-ups, planks, and pencil-holds. Once they were done with that, they did a couple of cool-down stretches before collecting their stuff again.

"So, how was your first morning at the gym? Other than the treadmill thing," Felix asked as they stepped out into the crisp morning air, the parking lot slightly aluminated by the sun's rays trying to push past the grey clouds.

"It actually wasn't half bad," Jack admitted, surprising himself, "To be honest, I thought I would hate it, but it was kinda fun actually,"

"Yeah. It's better now that I actually have someone to go with," Felix smiled warmly, hopping into his van as he did so, "I was getting kinda lonely here with no one to talk to this early in the morning,"

"Aw. Well, I'll be your workout buddy from now on!" Jack chirped happily, "We'll get fucking swol together," He joked. Felix laughed in response. It wasn't long after that Felix was once again pulling into Jack's driveway and allowing the Irishman to hop out.

"See ya!" Felix called back as he rolled out of the driveway, waking at Jack as the Irishman waved back.

Jack stepped back into his house and closed the door, sighing as he leaned his back against the doorframe. Looking down at his watch, he read the time stamp of 7:32 am. He made his way back up to his room, grabbing a new set of clothes from his room before he stepped into his bathroom to take a quick shower.

\---

Jack sat back in his computer chair, having just finished his second recording for the day. He scrolled through his social media quickly, checking over different messages that people had sent him and replying to different emails. He glanced down at the clock on his computer as he sat back in his seat, reading 4:43 pm. Having just finished all of his tasks for the day and seeing as not many people were online at the moment, he was slightly bored. He allowed his head to lull to the side slightly, casting his eyes over the different things in his room. The first things his eyes landed on was the book. That book, the one he had bought on his own last night. He had thrown it down on his backpack after coming home, not wanting to read it yet. He twiddled his thumbs together, still staring at the book, contemplating what he wanted to do in that moment of time. Finally, he stood up from his chair and stepped over to his backpack, picking up the book and turning it over in his hands. He flipped open the cover and flipped through the first few pages, coming to the book's table of contents.

Chapter 1................Am I straight?  
Chapter 2.....................Am I gay?  
Chapter 3........................Am I bi?  
Chapter 4.....................Am I ace?  
Chapter 5...................Am I trans?

He gulped slightly. Why did the thought of reading this book worry him? Did he not actually want to know? No, of course, he did. He had always wanted to know. Was it the thought of someone finding it? Possibly. He pursed his lips, wondering still if he should even read it or just return it.

"... Fuck me," Jack whispered to himself, tucking the book under his arm as he made his way downstairs to his living room and flopped down on his couch. He opened up to the first chapter and began to read.

He wasn't sure exactly how long he had read for, but he read until the sun came down and long after that, eventually allowing the book to rest against his chest comfortable as he fell asleep in his reading position on the couch.


	5. You're Own Damn Pace

*BZZZZZT*  
*BZZZZZT*  
*BZZZZZT*

Jack groaned and rolled over on his couch, trying his best to ignore the loud buzzing of his phone. He laid there curled up for a minute, then an exasperated sigh escaped his lips. Turning back over, he begrudgingly picked up the phone and answered it.

"Gooooooood mornin' Jack-ie-boy! Ready to get fucking ripped?" The Swede's voice beamed loudly over the phone.

"What?" Jack asked tiredly, his voice raspy and dry from having accidentally slept with his mouth open.

"Uh, we're going to the gym?" Felix responded back with a hint of confusion in his voice.

"Oh, yeah. R-right. I remembered that," Jack replied sheepishly, sitting up on his couch and stretching slightly as he did so.

"Sure you did Jack. Sure you did," Felix said teasingly.

"Shut up," Jack chuckled as he rubbed at his eyes, "I'll be down in a few," He said quickly before he hung up the phone.

He yawned as he got up from his couch and went upstairs to grab the clothes he would need out of the closet, then disappeared into his bathroom to change and get ready. A few moments later he was already walking down the stairs and slipping on his shoes and grabbing his water bottle before slipping out of his front door and locking it behind him. Felix waved happily to him as he approached the car, which caused a slight smile to form on Jack's face.

"You're less grumpy today!" Felix said cheerfully.

"Yeah, well I wasn't as surprised about this as I was yesterday," Jack replied. Felix backed up out of Jack's driveway and began to drive the two of them to the gym.

"Right, because you absolutely remembered today," Felix joked.

"Oh, yeah, absolutely. I was already up before you even called me," Jack joked back.

"So, just a reminder, you run at your own damn pace. Don't want to repeat yesterday," Felix scolded, earning him a laugh from Jack.

"Okay, Ma, will do," Jack teased back. The rest of the car ride passed by in content silence.

Upon arriving at the gym, the two of them walked into the building and headed over to the treadmills.

"Got any tips for choosing my speed?" Jack asked, remembering how knowledgable Felix was yesterday about the sets and reps.

"Uh, not really. Just choose a speed that you think you'll be able to go at for a long distance and adjust it if you feel like you can go faster or need to slow down. It's really just about listening to your own body," Felix replied, hopping on his own treadmill and starting it up at his usual starting speed of 6 kph. Jack set his to the same speed, which earned him an annoyed glance from Felix.

"I'm not copying again, I swear! This is just a good starting speed!" Jack reassured his friend.

"As long as that's ALL it is," Felix replied, focusing back on his walking, "Hey, how's your chin doing by the way?" He asked.

"Oh, it's fine. It's a little sore when I chew but not much. It'll probably stop hurting by this afternoon. It's my tongue that really took the beating. I can barely eat anything without it feeling like I just stabbed my fucking tongue!" Jack replied, gesturing as he did so.

"That bad, huh?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Jack sighed. He reached forward and upping his speed to 8 kph, and Felix upped his speed to 9 kph soon after.

Seeing as there was no present need for further conversation, Jack stared straight down at his treadmill settings, allowing his mind to wander as he did so. At first, he thought about what he might do today, what types of videos he would record and what games, who's emails he needed to reply to, whether or not he should answer asks or reblog art. After a bit, his mind moved on to other matters. One of which being the book that he had begun reading last night. He remembered having read all of the first chapter and just beginning the second when he finally fell asleep.

'It's surprising,' He thought to himself, 'I didn't expect myself to be so far on the other end of the spectrum,' 

Although he had always had an inkling that he might not be completely straight, he had never realised just how not-straight he was.

'I always thought it was just something you kinda... knew. Well, I guess I did kinda know, but I never thought it would have been staring me in the face for so long,' He thought.

The chapter had touched upon both personal feelings and stereotypes, as well as sharing different personal experiences from different people that the author had been allowed to place in the book. It had used stereotypes as more of a guideline than an end all be all since there were many people who did not really fit into them or even anywhere near them.

'I half expected to fit into SOME straight stereotypes but NONE of them? How could I not notice that before?' He asked himself, 'I mean, I'm not exactly the type of image that comes to mind when you think of "gay" either... What the hell am I?' That question to himself really seemed to sting.

"Dude? You alright?"

Jack was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts.

"Wh-wha? Huh?" He spoke confusedly.

"You got really quiet for a while and you had a look on your face. Are you good?" Felix asked, looking over at his friend with slight concern.

"Y-yeah yeah! I'm fine! Sorry, I was just thinking about stuff. I'm good," Jack reassured, quickly plastering a smile on his face to calm his friend.

"Is something on your mind? Do you want to talk about something?" Felix asked, still concerned.

'Yes, but not to you,' Jack thought.

"Nope! I'm fine! Thanks for the offer though," Jack said happily out loud.

"... Alright," Felix dropped it. 

Jack had seemed to forget that he wasn't actually alone in the gym this morning, even if it was just the two of them there this morning. It wasn't long until the both of them were finished with their warm-up runs and headed over to the weight bench again.

"So, how is life in Brighton so far?" Felix finally asked, breaking the silence as he picked up his weights and walked over to the bench.

"Oh, it's great! I'm having a blast!" Jack replied chipperly as he followed Felix with his own weights.

"That's good," Felix smiled, "It's nice having you out here as a friend," 

Jack couldn't figure out why the last part of Felix's sentence stung so bad, but he tried to brush it off. He a Felix began doing their reps. At first, he merely looked over at Felix's movements to mimic what he was doing, like he had done the day before when he was learning, but eventually, he was just mindlessly lifting his weights, not needing to look over at Felix's arms anymore... but still staring.

'Holy hell,' He thought as he began to lose track of his sets, 'I knew Felix worked out but I guess I never really looked at him too well to see it...' a few drops of sweat rolled over Felix's upper arm at that moment, 'Dude is fucking ripped, holy shit. He could crush my fucking soul with arms like that...' His eyes trailed all over Felix's frame, the Swede completely unaware, 'He could actually launch into the fucking sun with arms like those and I would thank him. Jesus... Wait what the fuck am I thinking?!' He inwardly yelled at himself as he tore his eyes away from his unaware friend, looking back down at his now aching arm since he had been constantly absentmindedly lifting it, 'Felix is my friend. Just my friend. Friends don't think that way about friends. Or... do they? Is... is this normal?' He wondered to himself. Sure he had had friends in school, but he never hung out with them anymore, and he had never thought this way about any of them before. Then again, he had never really been that close to them, to begin with. Was this really a normal thing that male friends think about each other?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Felix abruptly pulled him out of his thoughts again, "You're so quiet today,"

"Oh, uh yeah! Yeah, I'm fine," Jack laughed nervously, "Like I said before, I'm just thinking about stuff,"

"Must be pretty important stuff if you're thinking for that long about it... Are you sure you don't want to talk?" Felix stopped lifting his weight and placed his hand on Jack's shoulder, then gave it a light squeeze, "Like, dude, I'm here for you if you wanna talk. I won't judge you," Jack stared into Felix's eyes for a moment, complete calm seeming to wash over him as blue stared into blue. Could he really tell him? He was his closest friend at this point after all. Maybe about the questioning thing, yeah, but... No. No, he couldn't. It's not that he didn't trust Felix, he just wasn't ready.

"Uh... Maybe some other time. Thank you, though. That... that means a lot," Jack said, a small, comforting smile forming on his face as he did so.

"Alright. But if you need to talk, literally any time, just give me a call, okay?" Felix smiled back at the Irishman.

"For sure," Jack reassured, his small smile growing into a grin. He felt as though a literal weight had been lifted off of his chest, just knowing his friend was there for him.

"Alright. So! Let's finally finish up this workout," Felix began as he got up from his bench and took his weights back over to the rack they had taken them off of. Jack followed and did the same.

It didn't take long for the two of them to finish with their stretches after that and for their workout for the day to be done. Grabbing all of their things, the two of them hopped back into Felix's vehicle around 7:30 am and drive home once again. Jack waved back to Felix as he entered his house again, the Swede waving back as he drove out of his friend's driveway and pulled away.

'I should get started on my videos,' Jack thought to himself as he went into his bathroom to have a quick shower, 'Then I'll start on that next chapter when I'm done,"


	6. Sounds like a Date

It wasn't until Jack found himself once again jogging on those treadmills at the gym next to his friend that his mind finally started to wake up for the day. It was almost refreshing. Almost. If he didn't have to be running this early in the morning in order to do it, then it would be perfect.

"Dude, you're thinking too much."

"Huh?" Jack looked over at Felix confusedly.

"These past few days you've just been staring off into space. Whatever you're thinking about, you need to let it go, or tell someone. It's eating you up, dude. I've never seen you like this!" Felix looked over back at Jack, his eyebrows turned up slightly in worry.

Perhaps he had been thinking too much. He had gone to sleep last night still pondering the same thing he was now. And who could blame him? After reading that second chapter yesterday and identifying with so many of the point made about gay people and their mannerisms, how could he think of anything but? His whole life was turning into something he never expected it to. How could Felix blame him? Well, of course, because Felix didn't know, so how could he sympathize?

"Sorry, it's just..." Jack started, not knowing how to word things. Was he actually going to tell Felix? "Well, I'm..." The words wouldn't come to him, no matter how much he pondered them, "... uh, nevermind."

"No, dude. Seriously," Felix jumped and put each foot on one side of the treadmill, allowing the exercise machine to come to a stop, "What is it? I'm listening."

"No, it's okay. It's not important." Jack tried to brush it off.

"Well, it's obviously important to you. I want to help, but I can't if you don't tell me what's happening." 

Jack jumped off of his treadmill and let it come to a stop, "No, I don't want to."

Felix sighed, exasperated. He stepped off his treadmill and walked over to Jack, "... I don't want to push you if you're not ready, but I want to help. You're not acting like... well, you," Felix placed his hand on Jack's shoulder.

Jack was getting extremely uncomfortable. If this conversation went on any longer he thought he might accidentally say something he wasn't ready to say, "... Can we stop talking about this, please?" He asked, avoiding eye-contact. Felix looked at Jack for a moment, then sighed.

"Okay. I won't bring it up anymore," Felix said dejectedly, removing his hand from Jack's shoulder.

"Thank you," Jack said, looking back up at his friend.

\---

They sat in the car in silence, Jack looking out the window as Felix drove him back to his house. After their initial conversation earlier the air between them had grown stiff. Neither of them liked it, yet neither of them knew how to fix it. So they remained in silence. That is, until now.

"So, are you settling in well?" Felix broke the silence, asking nervously.

"Oh. Uh, yeah, I am. It's a nice change of scenery here," Jack replied, looking over at his friend as he drove.

"That's good," Felix nodded, another moment of awkward silence passing between them, "Are you... uh, I mean... Do you... um..." Felix stuttered along.

"What?" Jack coaxed, wanting to hear what Felix had to say.

"Do you... y'know. Like... have plans? ... Later today?" Felix asked hesitantly.

"Uh, no. Other than doing my videos I have no other plans. Why?" Jack replied, intrigued.

Felix swallowed, "Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to... go to the Brighton Pier... with me... later,"

"Oh. Uh," Jack thought for a moment.

Felix blurted out before Jack could fully reply, "I-it's fine if you don't want to. I mean, that's cool if you don't feel up to it. That's totally fine. I was just-"

"No, Felix. I want to go," Jack interrupted, placing a hand on Felix's arm as he drove to catch the Swede's attention.

"Really?" A smile grew on Felix's face, "That-That's great! Yeah, it'll be so much fun!" Felix flashed Jack his smile for a moment. Seeing the Swede's smile caused a smile to form on Jack's face as well. Just then, they pulled into Jack's driveway.

"So, I'll text you when I'm done with videos and we'll head over?" Jack asked as he stepped out of the vehicle, turning around to look back inside at his beaming friend.

"Sound like a date!" Felix beamed, then a look of shock spread across his face, "Plan! Plan! I meant plan! It's not a date!" Felix replied quickly, obviously embarrassed with himself. Jack couldn't help but laugh.

"It's okay. A 'date' sounds better anyway," Jack smiled back. He had to do his best to hide his own embarrassment when he realized the implications of what he just said. Felix seemed to pay no mind to it, however.

"Yeah, I guess it does. A date it is, then," Felix smiled, looking up at Jack.

"I guess it is," Jack looked back. Blue stared into blue, and he could practically feel the hue on his cheeks redden, "I'll see you later." He finished, closing the car door hopefully before Felix could see any change on his face.

Felix waved at Jack as he pulled out of his driveway, the Irishman returning the gesture, then drove away. Jack then entered his own house and shut the door.

"Alright. Shower, videos, then pier," Jack said aloud as he bounced up the stairs. 'Later' couldn't come sooner.

\---

Jack sat on the chair next to his living room window, his phone in hand as he continuously glanced out behind the curtains. He had sent Felix a text not too long ago and he was practically bouncing in his seat as he waited for his friend to come pick him up. He had never been to the Brighton pier before, so he was excited to see all of the interesting things that would be there. He practically zipped to the door once he saw Felix's vehicle come into view and pull into his driveway. He locked his front door behind him and came out to see Felix stepping out and shutting off his vehicle.

"We're not driving there?" Jack asked.

"No, I didn't think it was necessary. Finding parking near the pier is a disaster, so I thought we could just walk. Is that okay?" Felix explained, walking over and closing the majority of the distance between him and Jack.

"Oh, yeah of course. I just wasn't expecting it is all," Jack said, "So, which way are we going?"

"It should just be down here a few blocks. It sounds farther away than it actually is," Felix said as he pointed in a direction, then proceeded to walk in said direction, "Come on, let's go." He prompted Jack to follow, which the Irishman quickly did, settling into a nice saunter beside his friend.

"I'm so fucking excited. I've never been there before!" Jack chirped happily.

"Yeah, it's really fun. Especially the arcade," Felix enthusiastically replied.

"There's an arcade?!"

Felix laughed a little, "You bet your ass there is. It's got everything in there. And I mean everything."

"Dude, that's awesome! What's your favourite one?"

Felix pondered for a moment, "I'm pretty good at the trivia one. I know a lot of useless shit," Now Jack was the one to laugh.

The two of them continued to chat happily as they walked down the sidewalk, residential houses eventually changing into storefronts and business buildings as they went along. It wasn't long before they arrived at the Brighton Pier.

A prolonged "Woah" was all Jack could say as they walked along the pier, looking around at the beach and ocean around them.

"Pretty nice, huh?" Felix smiled as he looked at Jack's expression of wonder.

"Pretty nice? It's fucking amazing!" Jack beamed, looking ahead now at the big, flashy arcade that they were approaching.

"You think this is fucking amazing? Wait till we get inside," Felix said as he walked up to the ticket booth. After purchasing two tickets, he brought the other one over to Jack and handed it to him.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that," Jack said as he took the ticket from Felix, "I could've paid for my own ticket."

"It's alright. I wanted to buy it for you," Felix smiled. Jack couldn't help but smile back.

"Well, thank you," Jack said. They then turned and walked into the arcade together and Jack was absolutely floored, "Holy shit!" Was all he could say as he saw the bright flashing lights that lit up the room and the various different colours that the arcade games cast around.

"Told you it was fucking amazing,"

"No kidding! Oh, let's do that one!" Jack grabbed ahold of Felix's arm and lead him towards a whack-a-mole type of game. He thanked the lord he was facing away from Felix, since the moment he realised he had Felix's hand in his, a rosy hue grew on his face and a butterfly fluttered in his stomach. He let go of Felix's hand as they came up to the game, doing his best to put his emotions back in order.

"Alright, show me what you've got," Felix coached as he clicked the game to start and stood back to allow Jack some space to move.

Jack picked up the foam mallet that was attached to the machine and held it firm in his hand, rocking his body from side to side in anticipation. A mole suddenly popped out from one of the slots and He quickly smashed the mallet on its head, then watched as a second mole popped up and he repeated the action. One after the other the moles popped up, then they started to pop up in doubles, then in triplets, quadruplets, and so on. Until it got to the point where Jack could barely keep up with hitting one mole, let alone seven at once.

"I'm losing it! I'm losing it!" Jack shouted as he watched his timer tick down and his score start to slow down.

"I'll help!" Felix called.

Jack gasped as Felix's hand wrapped around his on the mallet, his other arm swooping over behind Jack's shoulders. His back pressed against Felix's chest as the Swede began to control Jack's movements, moving the mallet much faster than Jack was before. However, his mind wasn't on the game anymore. He could feel a kaleidoscope of butterflies flair up in his stomach, and his cheeks go redder than they ever had. He tried to breathe deeply. Felix was just helping him win the game, a friendly thing. He was just trying to be a helpful friend. That's what friends do for each other. It shouldn't change the air between them if Felix helped him, and yet he couldn't help but feel his temperature rise, the air seeming to become a little thicker. This was normal, right? Friends feel this way about each other, right? He was pulled out of his thoughts as Felix yelled in his ear.

"We did it!" The Swede shouted. Jack looked up, and read how high the score had been pumped up since he last saw it.

"Woah!" He said enthusiastically, genuinely surprised, "We did it!" He repeated.

"Hell yeah, we did!" Felix proclaimed, letting go of Jack and stepping away from him. The room seemed a bit colder all of a sudden. Felix reached down and grabbed the tickets that came shooting out of the machine, "Let's go play something else together!" He said, looking around the room and then taking hold of Jack's hand and leading them toward another machine. If the whole night kept playing out like it was so far, Jack's face was going to be as bright as a tomato by the end of it.

\---

The rest of the night had gone by smoothly. With both of their tickets combined they had racked up enough to be able to get a bubble wand, a flashy yo-yo, a pair of giant glasses, and a sparkly, Micheal Jackson-esk glove. Jack waved the bubble wand through the air as they walked home, watching through his giant, plastic glasses as the bubbles bounced through the air and popped on the ground. Felix attempted to "walk the dog" with his yo-yo, his flashy glove catching the setting sunlight as he flicked his wrist down. The two of them talked cheerfully with one-another as they went along. Not too much time passed before they were arriving back at Jack's house.

"That was super fun! We have to do it again sometime," Jack sang, stopping and turning to face Felix in his driveway.

"Yeah, it'll be another date!" Felix sang back, smiling brightly.

"I guess it will be," Jack smiled back. A moment of silence passed between them as they both smiled at each other, content. Jack never wanted the moment to end, it just felt so nice... Jack then realised how awkward Felix must feel right now, the two of them just standing there saying nothing, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then." He blurted out, backing up towards his front door. This seemed to cause Felix to snap out of some sort of trance.

"Oh! Uh, yeah. Same to you," Felix said, turning and opening the door to his car and hopping in.

"G'night," Jack called back as he opened the door to his house.

"Good night," Felix said back as well before starting up his car and backing out of the driveway. Jack watched from the door as his friend drove away.

Closing the door behind him he set down his prizes on the couch and sat down, stretching out as he did so. You'd think he was tired, but after a night like that, how could he be?

"I'll start reading that third chapter," Jack spoke in hushed tones to himself, "That'll get me to sleep."


	7. I'll Pay it Forward

"*Ugh* okay, I think I'm done," Felix huffed out as he set down his dumbbell then shook out his wrist. His face was red as he attempted to steady his breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In, out. A few moments later, Jack was practically dropping his dumbbell on his foot from exhaustion.

"That makes *guh* two of us," He panted, the strenuous feeling in his arm subsiding as he set the dumbbell on the ground.

"My arms feel like fucking jelly, dude," Felix said as he stood up from the bench and swayed his arms from side to side, too tired to lift them, "I almost don't even want to carry it back to the rack," He chuckled as he picked up his dumbbell and dragged his feet back to the rack and placed it down, opting to put it on the lower shelves instead since he was too tired to lift it back up to its proper place.

"I think my arms could fall off at any moment," Jack huffed as he strained to pick back up his dumbbell and carry it over to the rack. He placed it on the floor next to it, too tired to put it back properly. Felix walked over to his water bottle and downed a cup and a half, wiping his mouth afterwards. Jack went over to the water fountain and stood there for a good 5 minutes, taking in all the water he could get before walking back over to his friend.

"Alright, let's head out," Felix declared as he picked up his belongings. Looking back to make sure Jack was ready as well, he and Jack walked out of the gym and over into Felix's car. It wasn't long before they were situated in their seats and driving out of the parking lot, "Hey, the other day was really fun at the pier. Did you want to hang out again today?" He asked, glancing over at Jack as he drove.

"Oh, you're gonna take me out on another date?" Jack teased, batting his eyelashes femininely.

"You bet I'm gonna take that sweet ass out on a second date," Felix joked back, winking at Jack as he did. Jack had to push down the butterflies that erupted from that friendly wink.

"Well, where are you gonna take me Mr. Kjelburg," Jack teased. Felix's face scrunched up in the mix of a grin and a cringe.

"Jesus, that sounds horrible. Mr. KjElBuRg," Felix put on a dumb, high pitched voice when speaking the last part, "Yuck." He spat.

"Oh, come on. It didn't sound that bad," Jack flicked Felix's shoulder, "Fine then, Mr... Pie, where are you taking me?" Felix broke out in a grin at that.

Putting on his best classy, British accent, "I shall be taking you to the greatest restaurant this side of the country," Felix scrunched up his nose and put on a pompously rich face.

Putting on a British accent of his own, "Is that so? Well, I'd be joyful to attend," Jack said back. They looked over into each other's eyes at that moment, and neither could contain their laughter anymore, "Okay, but seriously, where are we going?" Jack asked as they pulled into his driveway.

"Just this really good restaurant downtown. The food there is the best," Felix replied, clarifying, "I'll pick you up later."

"Alright! That's our second date, Mr. Pie. See you later!" Jack said as he exited the vehicle and took his belongings. He closed the car door and walked into his house, waving to Felix as the Swede drove away.

Jack quickly scampered up the stairs and into the bathroom, eager to get ready and enjoy the day.

\---

He scrolled through Twitter on his couch, his videos finished as he waited for Felix's "I'm here" text. Low and behold, just then, a message popped up on his phone. It was from Felix. With his shoes already on Jack raced to the door and went outside, locking his front door behind him and then bounding over to Felix's car. He quickly plopped himself down in the passenger's seat.

"Well, someone's eager!" Felix chuckled as he looked at Jack's excited expression.

"Hell yeah, I am! Aren't you?" Jack asked back, wondering if he seemed a little too excited for this.

"No, no! I mean, yes! Yes, I'm excited!" Felix stumbled over his words, trying not to sound like he didn't care, "I just didn't think you'd be this excited," He said smiling as he backed out of the driveway.

"Dude, I'm so excited. So! Where exactly are we going?" Jack asked.

"We're going to Rosie's Family Restaurant. Dude, I'm telling you, the food there is the best! It'll be great to eat it with someone else," Felix boasted.

"You've only ever eaten there by yourself?" Jack questioned.

"Well, yeah. I've never really had a friend close to where I live before, so I usually just go alone," Felix admitted. Jack thought that was kind of sad, loving something so much but not being able to share it with someone else.

"Well, I hope I'm a good lunch-mate," Jack smiled. Felix smiled back.

"You already are," Felix said, sounding very caring. 

A few moments later, they were pulling into the restaurant's parking lot and being seated. They quickly ordered and then were left alone. About 45 minutes later, their server returned to the table with their food trays in hand. After giving a quick "enjoy your meal" the two were once again left alone. Jack bit down into his burger, and his eyes went wide.

"Holy shit!" He covered his mouth, what with food still being in there, "That's really good!"

"Told you," Felix chuckled, an almost smug smile on his face, "No one beats Rosie's."

"No shit they don't. You'd have to be some sort of food wizard to do that, and even still you might get your ass handed to you on a silver platter!" Jack praised, taking another bite of his food. Felix laughed at the Irishman's comments.

The two talked for a while as they ate, speaking about hobbies and interests, politics and jokes. Really, no subject was off the table between them, making their communication free between each other. Finally, after they had finished their meals, their server returned to the table with a bill in hand.

"Is everything done?" Their waitress asked. After both of them confirmed, she pulled out the bill, "is this separate or together?" She asked.

"Separate,"

"Together,"

The two looked over at each other after speaking at the same time.

"Dude, I got this. You moved to my town, and I'm gonna take care of it," Felix reassured, a wily smile on his face. Before Jack could protest, Felix turned back to the waitress, "The bill is together, please."

"For sure," She said, then handed the bill to Felix.

"You really don't have to do that," Jack tried to argue as Felix filled out the bill, "I can cover my end,"

"I know you can, but I don't want you to," Felix pointed back as he handed the bill to the waitress, "Like I said, you moved into my town, therefore I get to take care of you," He smiled smugly back. Jack huffed a chuckle.

"Well, thank you," He said. The two gathered their things and walked back out into the parking lot, "So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning?" He asked as they got into Felix's car.

"Well... not exactly," Felix grinned as he started the vehicle and began to drive, but not back to Jack's house.

"Wha..? Dude, what are you doing?" Jack asked confusedly.

"You'll see," Felix grinned. Jack could only watch as they drove through the city, to a destination he did not know. Finally, a tour came into view, and they got closer and closer and closer until finally, Felix was pulling into the parking lot of said tower.

"Dude, what are we doing here?" Jack asked as he looked over at his friend, only to be greeted by a pair of tickets being handed to him, "What's this?" He asked as he took one of the tickets from Felix and looked it over, then his eyes went wide.

"I thought you might want to get a better look at the city," Felix said happily, watching as Jack looked at his ticket to the Brighton tower.

"Dude, no fucking way!" Jack beamed, then he went flat suddenly, "How much did this cost?"

"You are not allowed to ask that question," Felix said as he patted his finger against Jack's nose, "And I am not allowed to answer. You're going to enjoy yourself and not worry about it," He instructed.

"Okay?" Jack chuckled, "Thank you for this," He looked over into Felix's eyes.

"No problem," Felix said warmly, staring back, "Come, on! Let's head up!" He quickly got out of his car and came over to Jack's side of the vehicle and opened the door for his friend. Jack stepped out and they walked together into the tower. After waiting in line for a while, they walked into the little oval that they were to ride up in the tower on.

"This is gonna be so cool!" Jack beamed to Felix. The Swede smiled back.

The ride started and they began to slowly ascend into the air, higher and higher. Jack looked around at the buildings as they slowly climbed, awestruck at it all. He looked out over the smaller buildings and the like. He looked down at the street as they moved higher. And even higher. They were going... uncomfortably high. He could feel his knees begin to shake as he stared down at the cars that got smaller and smaller and smaller. He backed away from the end of the sphere and backed up toward the centre, putting a shaky hand on the railing as he did so. Felix, completely enamoured by the sight around him, didn't notice Jack's discomfort at first. However, as he looked over to see his friend, he wasn't there. He looked around until he saw Jack, shaky and uneasy, clutching the railing near the middle of the sphere they were in.

"Hey, are you okay?" Felix asked as he walked over to his friend, concern on his face.

"Yeah, I'm just... The uh... The heights are kinda... getting to me," Jack stammered out, unable to look away from the ground.

"Shit, I totally forgot about that," Felix cursed himself, "Are you gonna be okay?" He asked, placing a hand on Jack's shoulder blade gently.

"Um... yeah... I'll-I'll be fine," Jack tried to muster a smile, "Don't worry about me. As long as nothing goes wrong, I'll be okay."

Just then, a loud bang sounded through the sphere. Jack jumped out of his skin practically, yelping slightly as he did so. Felix moved closer and held his frightened friend. An announcer then came over the intercom.

"Sorry folks! We hit the top a little too hard. Everything is fine," The man reassured, then clicked off.

"Are you okay?" Felix asked in hushed tones, looking into Jack's eyes.

"Um... I-I guess so," Jack shook, looking back at Felix, "That was... um... unexpected," Jack let out a pathetic chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

"No kidding," Felix looked at Jack with concern, "Do you want me to stay here with you?" He asked.

It was in that moment that Jack realised Felix was still holding on to him, their hands clutched together. Felix had an arm wrapped protectively tight his back with his chest pressed against Jack's side as he held his hands in front of Jack's frame. Jack looked down at the ground to try and hide the blush on his face, but that just made him want to hurl when he looked through the glass floor. He chose to stare down at Felix's shoes. In a way, Felix holding him did help. He felt more stable, secure even, as if the floor beneath them could break right now and they'd still be standing there, held tight together. No matter how secure he felt, however, that didn't stop his stomach from doing flips inside of him as Felix warmed his shaking frame.

"If you... don't mind," Jack spoke softly. He didn't want to ruin Felix's ride just because he couldn't handle it.

"I don't mind at all," Felix reassured. Jack calmed down when Felix said that, grateful that Felix wasn't going to leave him.

After a while of sitting still, the sphere began to slowly descend to the ground, the buildings and people getting closer and closer as they went. Jack couldn't focus on their descent, though. He had butterflies the size of birds in his stomach at that moment, and his mind raced. Over and over he repeated in his head "this is just how friends feel about each other. This is just what friends do". What he was feeling, it was normal. Wasn't it? It had to be. Of course, it was. Of course. Jack slightly lifted his head and looked up at Felix. The Swede was looking around at the outside, still taking in the sights as he comforted his friend. Jack breathed in and noticed how nice Felix smelled. Just then, Felix turned back and looked down at Jack's face. The Irishman quickly averted his gaze, as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have. Felix chuckled, then ran his thumb over Jack's hand methodically, reassuring. Jack felt his cheeks get hotter. Yes, completely normal. Suddenly, the sphere jostled slightly, causing Jack to look up. They had reached the bottom and he hadn't even realised it. The two of them slowly separated, but Felix did not let go of their hands he led Jack out of the tower and back over to his vehicle. As they neared it, Jack finally began to clear his mind.

"Thank you," Jack finally spoke up, causing the Swede to look back at him.

"I'm sorry for bringing you here," Felix apologized as he let go of Jack's hand, "I totally forgot about your fear of heights."

"No, It's okay. I should have thought about it before we went in," Jack reassured him. It was Jack's turn to put his hand on Felix's shoulder, "Really, it's okay." Jack smiled at him, and Felix smiled back. The two of them then parted and got into the vehicle.

The drive back to Jack's house was quiet, but not void of conversation. There was no tension, either, just a calm atmosphere.

"Thanks for today," Jack said as he hopped out of the vehicle in his driveway, "I really enjoyed it."

"It was my pleasure," Felix smiled. Jack walked back up to his house and waved to Felix as his friend drove away, then went inside.

He flopped down on the couch in complete bliss as he thought about the events of today. Even if the ride on the Brighton tower had been less than great, he had still enjoyed himself. He glanced over at his clock. 6:43 pm.

"I better read another chapter before I crash for the night," He thought out loud to himself as he reached under his couch and grabbed the book from its hiding spot, then flipped to where he had last left off.


	8. Anywhere but Here

Jack gently allowed his eyes to flutter open as he woke up that morning. He yawned, and stretched, reaching high to the sky before he flopped back down. He rubbed at his eyes and pulled out crusts and sleepies that he had gained from that night. He laid there for a moment and took in a deep breath, then a deep sigh. He stared up at his ceiling, the sun from his closed blinds slightly shimmering across the roof as his blinds swayed with the wind coming in through his opened window. He was content.

And then he wasn't. This morning was great, sure. He had enjoyed waking up on his own but wasn't there something else that usually happened before he woke up? Some type of phone call from a friend of his? Squinting his eyes, he rolled over and picked up his phone, the motion causing his screen to light up.

8:23 am

He sat up confusedly, unlocking his phone and searching around on it. Had he slept through Felix's call? No, his ringer was turned up to max. Had Felix forgotten to call him? No, there was no missed calls in his phone history. Had Felix forgotten to pick him up? Unlikely, but possible. He clicked into his text messages and looked to see if Felix had texted him anything there either. Nothing. His thumbs began moving over his phone keyboard rapidly.

-What, no gym today?

He sent the message and waited, staring at his screen for a moment. He did not receive an immediate reply, however, so he clicked into his Twitter app and began to scroll. A few moments passed and a message popped up on the top of his screen.

-Not today. It's Sunday and I'm tired  
-Felix

Jack clicked into the message and quickly typed back a reply.

-No problem

Jack sat up in his bed and looked around, almost unsure of what to do now that he was out of his routine. Remembering what he had usually done a little more than a week ago when he moved here, he got out of bed and grabbed some clothes from his closet. No need to shower today since he wasn't drenched in sweat like he usually was, so he was in and out of the bathroom much faster than normal. After having a quick cereal breakfast, he sat down in his recording room and began a normal day.

\---

Jack walked down his stairs and into his living room, unsure of what to do with himself. 12:47. It was only 12:47 am and he had already finished his recordings for the day and sent them off to Robin. Usually, he wasn't this efficient. Perhaps after the past few days of finishing his work quickly to be able to hang out with Felix had affected him more than he had originally thought.

He sat down on his couch and looked around. He wasn't hungry, and he didn't feel like watching TV. Everyone was out doing something at that moment, so his social media wasn't updating at all. He didn't feel like going out. He just didn't know what to do with himself. He shifted his feet and his heel brushed against something on the ground. Looking down, it was the edge of that book, poking out from underneath the couch. Reaching, he picked it up and brought it into his lap. I guess, with nothing to do or want to do, this was as good a time as any to go over what had happened since he started reading this thing.

"Okay," his thoughts began quietly out loud, "So... I'm... I'm gay," he admitted. He had already found that out, but admitting it out loud for the first time was... a little strange, "I'm gay... but I don't think I'm Bisexual... No, no I'm not," He repeated, confirming it to himself. He only had feelings for men, not women. Sure, he could find women attractive, but he was not attracted to them, "I'm gay, I'm not straight, and I'm not Bisexual," He repeated, "I haven't ever felt... what was it... gender... distoria? Dysphoria. I haven't felt it in the way they described, so I don't think I'm Transgender," He reasoned, "So, I'm gay," He said again. He paused for a moment, then a breath he didn't know he had been holding whistled out in a content sigh. That was the truth, and he finally knew it. How long had he been holding that breath for? "I'm gay," The weight of not knowing was lifted, and he felt like he could finally breathe properly. Alone in his home, he didn't have to wonder anymore. A smile played on his lips.

He thought about what a blessing it had been for him to move here and find that out. To not have to live in confusion anymore. His mind was better, he now owned a house, he had been getting in better physical shape and feeling better because of it, and he had hung out with Felix every day since he got here. Felix, his closest friend as of that point, who had been so nice to him since his arrival and so helpful. Felix, who seemed to know exactly what Jack needed and when he needed it, and was quick to provide. Felix, who Jack felt very warmly about and had grown quite fond of since he arrived. Felix... who constantly made his face hot. Felix... who made his heart beat faster whenever he saw him, much less touched him. Felix... who made butterflies in his stomach go wild. Felix... Felix... Did he have feelings for Felix?

Jack's smiled dropped. He stared forward, his brows furrowed slightly as he stared forward, "...Do I like Felix?" He whispered to himself. Half of his brain screamed at him. You're just good friends. This is normal. This isn't anything serious. The other half of his brain fought to reason with him. This is not normal. You've had friends before and none of them made you feel like this. This is serious for you. He let out a shaky breath. One side of his brain had won, "Oh my god," He whispered, "... I like Felix," He admitted. This admittion did not have the same easing feeling that the first one had. No, this brought along different emotions. Fear? Worry? Guilt? Some amalgamation of the three, it seemed. He stared down at the ground, "What am I gonna do?" He couldn't just tell Felix. That would make everything awkward. Who knows if Felix would even want to TALK to him afterwards. Sure, he could tell Felix about him being gay, he knew Felix was fine with that, but this? Not a chance. Was he just doomed to live in silence with his feelings? But that would be dishonest, and he didn't want that at all. Felix had to be straight, he had to be. Sure, he could be flamboyant and touchy and loud, but gay? Not a chance. That was just Jack's luck, wasn't it? To fall head over heels with someone who couldn't even love him back, not in the same way. Perhaps it was for the best if he didn't tell Felix anything. Who knows, it could save their friendship.

This was a lot to process all at once. He was sure if he kept thinking about it as in-depth as he was, his head would explode, or he'd start crying, or both. He quickly stood up from his couch and marched over to his front door. Food. He was going to get food and eat and not think about this for a while. He slipped on his shoes and started out his door, locking it behind him as he searched through his phone for a good fast food place nearby.

\---

He was in his bedroom sitting in a beanbag chair he had picked up on his outing. It was surprisingly light, so it wasn't hard to carry it home. His Switch tight in his hand, he used Link to battle different enemies and cross rolling terrains in LoZ: Breath of the Wild. Just then, his phone lit up in his pocket. Quickly pausing the game, he flipped it open and read the message.

-hey sexxy wuna cum ovre???/?/?/  
-Felix

Jack couldn't help but giggle slightly at Felix's message. He opened it and typed back.

-Are you drunk?

-nko iim fukchin gholfing  
-Felix

Jack shook his head at Felix's sass

-U wan sum fuk?? bb cum ovr  
Felix

Seeing as he didn't really have anything better to do and he could always come back to his game later,

-K i'll be there is like 20 minutes

-yee com gett thjis diiiiiuuiuick  
-Felix

Jack shook his head as he turned off his Switch and stood up. Felix must either be really drunk or pulling his leg. Either way, it'd be nice to see him today. He quickly went downstairs and slipped on his shoes for the second time that day and walked out the door.

\---

Jack knocked on his friend's front door. No answer. He knocked again. Still nothing. He tried the door handle and it easily swung open, so he let himself inside. Although he knew the address, he had never really been to Felix's house. The walls where all painted white, as were many of the pieces of furniture, with splashes of colour here and there. It wasn't so much a minimalistic style, but more of a modern, blank look. He closed the door behind him and slipped off his shoes.

"Felix?" Jack called out as he began to wander through the house.

"I'm in hERE!" Jack heard Felix's drunken and slurred voice call out. He couldn't help but chuckle as he followed where he had heard the voice come from. Entering the living room, Jack could see an empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the coffee table with a slumped and relaxed Felix resting on the couch beside it. Felix's face lit up once he spotted his friend, "JACK!" The Swede yelled loudly and he quickly got to his feet. He swayed in every which direction as he came over to his friend, stopping himself only by planting his hands on Jack's shoulders and squeezing tightly. The smell of strong whiskey hit Jack's nose like a ton of bricks, "You came!" Felix slurred, then he dragged Jack over to the couch and flopped back down. Jack pulled his hands out just in time to not go face first into the plush cushion and chose instead to stand near the wall closest to the coffee table.

"Jeez, you really are shit faced," Jack chuckled as he shook his head.

"S... Says you!" Felix stammered out, "YOU'RE just upSEt that I amd having a bETTEr TIme ThaN YoUUUUUuuu," he slurred.

"Sure," Jack chuckled, "Whatever you say. What else did you do today?" He asked, hoping to sober Felix up if he kept the conversation going.

"I woke up and... drank..." Felix stated slowly. There was a pause between them.

"Is... that all you did?" Jack asked. Had Felix really just been drinking all day?

"Hell yeahh. Shit got liit," Felix slimed crookedly.

"Do you remember why?" Jack continued questioning. No one just started day drinking for no reason.

"Cause I can't touch your sweet ass," Felix pointed at Jack, a smile on his drunken lips. Jack smiled and shook his head. He wasn't going to get a serious answer anytime soon.

"Well, you can't touch art, now can you?" Jack teased back. Felix seemed to be confused for a second, then lit up.

"Bring the ahrt to meeeeeeeee," Felix made grabby hands in Jack's direction.

"No thanks. I don't want you throwing up on me," Jack said.

"You jst can't... handle my amAZIng diiick, that'sss what," Felix slurred, " 'Nd you're jealous that I cn fuck your binch btter than yOU caaaan," Jack couldn't help but laugh.

"Felix, you can't even KISS a woman, let alone make her happy in bed," Jack joked. Felix sat up with almost determination in his eyes.

"eXCUse mE bITcH! I cAN... CaN sOOOO!!" Felix yelled back, earning a laugh from Jack. If they neighbours didn't hear that they must be deaf.

"I'd like to see the day," Jack teased, closing his eyes as he laughed. Felix sluggishly pulled himself to his feet and swayed in Jack's direction.

"I'll pROVE it boy!" Felix boasted. Jack looked up just in time to watch as Felix collided with him, his back banging against the wall as Felix pressed his weight onto him. Jack opened his mouth to laugh at Felix's drunken antics until a pair of lips went crashing against his own.

Jack yelped and his eyes widened and would have bulged out of his head if they hadn't been held in right. Felix had his eyes screwed shut, the Swede's pressure against him keeping Jack's head firm against the wall, but not uncomfortable. One of Felix's hands grabbed onto the back of Jack's neck and held him still while the other one grabbed onto Jack's bicep. Jack's shoulders tensed as he took a quick breath in, the smell of Felix and strong whiskey shoving into his nose. He stared ahead at Felix's shut eyes, almost frightened. Felix was warm and, despite his drunken state, did not sway or falter. Their chests pressed together tightly and one of Felix's legs sneaked in between Jack's and rested against the wall. Jack shot his hands up as if to grab at Felix and throw him off, but something stopped him. His eyes softened as he stared at Felix's face. Felix's lips were soft and wet against his own, bringing a burn with them as the leftover droplets of whiskey on them found their way onto Jack's own lips. Jack took a quick, shaking breath in, the scents once again filling him. His eyes drooped to a half lid, his eyebrows turned up in submissive worry. Felix's leg resting between his thighs made Jack weak in the knees, causing him to attempt to close his legs and only press into Felix's leg harder. The Swede held him tightly, almost possessively. Jack almost felt safe being held so tight, as if nothing could ever shake him in this moment. Jack let out a soft, weak grunt, his vocal sign of how much this moment made him feel. He slowly began to close his eyes the whole way, finding that his lips began to kiss back into Felix's and-

He took a sharp breath in as his eyes shot open at the realization of what he was doing. He shot his hands up onto Felix's chest and shoved hard. Hard enough to catch the Swede off guard and send him flying back, his legs scrambling as he banged against the floor. He covered his lips with his hands as if leaving them open to the air would cause the moment to start back up all over again. This... this was wrong. He needed to leave. Now.

"J... Jack?" The drunken Swede slurred from the ground, a mix of confusion and fear in his eyes. Jack stared down as his friend, his eyes filled with fear. He tried to press into the wall more, but he was already flat against it.

"I... I have to go," Jack rushed, quickly sliding against the wall as he rushed towards the exit to the room. Felix's eyes went wide with worry.

"No... Sean, wait..." He gasped as he tried to get to his feet. Jack paid no mind to him as he raced to the exit of the room, "Sean, please. Don... don't. I'm ssssorry," Felix pleaded as he stumbled after Jack, doing his best to run.

Jack quickly flung open the door and slammed it shut behind him, the cold air outside piercing his cheeks as he stepped out. He panted on the porch for a second before the loud thump of Felix's body slamming against the front door sent him sprinting down the driveway again. 

Away. Far, far away. That's where he wanted to go.


	9. Finale

He was avoiding him. Every day he was going out of his way to make sure that he never had to lay eyes on or be in his vicinity. He felt terrible for it, but what else could he do? After what had happened a week ago, facing his friend without feeling pure and utter shame was not an option. And it wasn't like the other man was going out of his way to make sure they met up either, so it was only logical that they were both on the same terms when it came to being together anymore. Every morning Felix would still do his normal call, waking Jack up and asking him to go to the gym together as they had done before that happened. Every time, Jack would have some sort of excuse.

"I'm sick." 

"I just don't want to."

"I'm too tired."

He was sure he would run out of excuses eventually, but until then he was just going to keep going with them. Felix didn't seem to mind, much less want to actually hang out with him, despite inviting him every morning.  
It’s not like he wanted to avoid his friend. Believe me, he didn’t, but he wasn’t ready to face the fallout, wasn’t ready to come clean about how he felt. No doubt Felix had remembered the event since he too was doing his fair share of avoiding. Jack wished there was some way to take it back, to erase what happened from both of their minds, to somehow blow it off as something that didn’t really matter. But it did matter, and it did happen.

Jack sighed. He sat slumped in front of his computer, having just finished his last video for the day. Of course, people had been noticing that he didn’t seem as chipper in his videos recently, but he didn’t have the patience to try and make them think otherwise, much less address their concerns. He tried to think of some way to be honest about his life with his fans without revealing too much, but he couldn't think of a way in which to word it where it wouldn't sound so obvious as to what was going on. His stomach grumbling interrupted his thoughts. He pushed back from his desk and stood up. Food was what he needed right now, and it would give him some time to take a break from all this thinking he had to do. Who knew thinking could be so exhausting.

He slipped on his shoes and was out the door before he knew it. He hadn't realised how late in the day it was until he saw the sky just beginning to turn golden as he left his house, the sun beginning its descent behind the shoreline. He had gotten fast food way too much this week and, with his sudden lack of regular exercise, the grease was starting to get to him. No, he needed real food. Thankfully, as much as he didn't want to think about his last trip there, he knew exactly where to go to get it. It didn't take long before he was stepping through the front door of Rosie's Family Restaurant for the second time, and it also didn't take long for him to be seated either.

Of course, the food's quality hadn't faltered since the last time he'd been there, so he quickly got to eating his meal after it had been brought to him. He looked around him at the other people in the restaurant and couldn't help but feel a ping of loneliness. He saw all the families and couples eating there, enjoying each others company. Technically, he could have brought someone to accompany him... but no. It wouldn't have been right. It was too soon. He sighed as he looked around the room, before spotting someone very... familiar.

His eyes went wide and he shot his head down into his hands, trying to hide his face with his fork. Why of all days did he have to pick the same day that Felix was going to eat here as well? He slightly lifted his head and peered out over his hands, looking at him. Felix wasn't eating yet, his food having not yet been brought to the table. He stared down at the phone in his hands and occasionally looked up, scanning the room to check for people periodically. Jack thought about getting a doggy back for his food and leaving before Felix could spot him back.

... No. This had gone on long enough. Yes, what had happened would raise tensions between them, but how would tensions ever fall if they kept playing this game of hide with no seek? Jack cursed himself for acting so childish and not handling the situation better before this point. Maybe he should go over and sit with Felix? It didn't look like the Swede had anyone to sit with anyway, so he didn't think he'd shun him. Maybe Felix would even feel relieved and share Jack's thoughts of simply forgetting about the incident and going along with their friendship. Of course, there would be questions Jack would have to answer, but he knew that. Jack took a breath in and out slowly. Okay, he was going to do it. He rested his palms on the table and began to stand himself up...

... Until a woman walked over to Felix's table. She wasn't a waitress. Upon seeing her, Felix's face visibly brightened and he stood up. They embraced warmly and began to talk lively. Jack slowly sat back in his seat, his heart faltering. Felix and the woman sat down in their chairs, and then a waiter came over to tend to their table to what looked to be the first time that night. He handed them menus and took drink orders before walking away. Felix and his company began to talk again, smiles on both of their faces. Jack couldn't hear what they were saying, but he saw the woman say something and caused Felix to laugh joyfully. A date. Felix was on a date. With someone else.

Jack tore his eyes away from the pair and stared down at his food. His fingers squeezed the table, as if for stability. His heart was tight in his chest, and if he stayed another moment in this place he thought he might explode with emotions. He quickly flagged over his waitress and was able to get the bill quickly. He didn't dare look in Felix's direction again. He wasn't sure what he would do. He shook his head as himself. Why was he feeling this way? He knew Felix would not reciprocate his feelings, he didn't expect him to. He and Felix were not meant to be, and he had come to terms with that. So... why, then, did his world feel like it was going to fall apart upon seeing Felix with someone else. And not just that, he looked so... happy. So very, genuinely happy. Happy to be with someone else. Jack quickly filled out the bill the second it was brought to his table and stood up, making his way to the front door quickly. His steps slowed as he neared it, however, and he couldn't help but stop himself as he pushed the door open. He knew better than to do this.

He looked back, and for a moment his eyes met with Felix's. The Swede looked visibly surprised to see Jack there. His stomach flipped. He couldn't face Felix. Not now. He quickly darted out the door.

The sun shone red in the sky, half of its body having been hidden behind the shoreline. Jack walked along the streets, his eyes cast down with his hands shoved in his pockets. He didn't want to go home. Going home would mean silence, and that would kill him right now. But he didn't want to see anyone either, because he wasn't sure he'd be able to hold in his emotions. To get the best of both worlds, Jack walked down winding allies and through dead streets. His heart laid scrunched up inside of him, too damaged to pick itself up. It made him feel heavy, and his feet dragged as his shoulders sagged. His lips turned down in a frown and his eyes held sorrow.

Well, if he had ever wondered whether Felix had feelings for him before, he sure as hell knew now that that wasn't true. Who even was that woman, anyway? Felix had never mentioned her before or made any impression that he was seeing someone else. Maybe he had met her during this past week when Jack had been avoiding Felix like the plague. Had Felix really moved on so quickly? Maybe their falling out had meant less to Felix than Jack had originally thought.

His lip quivered and he squeezed his eyes tight. No. He was not going to cry. There was nothing to cry about anyway. They had been friends, that's all. It was normal to get over a friendship quickly, especially if you thought that friend hated your guts now. Of course, there he went again, going off of what was supposed to be "normal". But it was true. Friendship was all they had had. They shared intimacy and had gotten close, but friendship was all it was to Felix. Jack almost wished he could be Felix in this situation. To have no desires towards him, to not have to get so attached just from a couple gym sessions and buddy hangouts, to not both cling to and push away the moments where their bodies had been so extremely close. Felix didn't have to care about those things. Had he ever cared about Jack to begin with?

Jack's shoulders scrunched as his eyes screwed shut, his face going red as he tried to keep the tears in. He opened them and sniffled, his vision cloudy as he neared a wooden railing that overlooked the sea. The sky was dark now and no one was around. He rested his arms on it and looked out, his jaw clenched to keep himself from going overboard with his emotions. 

But maybe this was what he needed. To accept that Felix didn't care about him. Jack could feel the tears begin to well up in his eyes. Felix didn't care. Felix didn't care, and that was the truth. A sob escaped his lips as tears poured down his cheeks, his eyes squeezing shut as his body heaved. Felix didn't care, he needed to accept that. He buried his face in his arms against the railing as he clutched it tightly, his whole body leaning against it as he broke down. Felix could never care about him in the same way he cared about Felix. He did his best to cry quietly, but you can only be so quiet when your whole world is breaking apart. He hiccuped and sobbed. He cried in pity of himself, he cried for the loss of his closest friendship, and he cried for the man who never loved him at all. On and on and on he went until the air turned sharp and icy.

Eventually, he began to soften. His hiccups grew quieter, and his body began to stop its heaves. His breath began to even and his tears dried up, leaving only damp remnants in their wake. His breath was shaky, although steady. He slowly brought his head up, his gaze looking downcast at nothing-in-particular. He looked out at the dark sea, the streetlights behind him only able to illuminate so far. He shook his head at himself and brought his hand up to his face.

"Fuck," He whispered hoarsely, wiping away his tears, "Why did I have to be fucking gay," His voice faltered near the end, and he laughed at himself as his lips quivered once more. How pathetic. A realization that once freed him had once again brought him to misery. He breathed shakily as the cold night air pierced his skin. He hoped it would freeze his heart solid. He looked out over the ocean as he clutched the railing, feeling as though if he let go he might fall to pieces. He heard footsteps behind him. How could someone be so fucking blind? Don't you know not to go near a crying stranger? The nerve some people had, to not care at all. Just like how Felix didn't-

"Sean?"

Jack gasped. The voice was so soft, so tender. So familiar. He slowly turned to look behind him, almost thinking it was a dream. It wasn't. He was standing there. He was really standing there, one arm weekly stretched out, as if he thought to touch Jack but knew better. He was worried. He looked so, so worried.

"Sean, are you alright?" Felix was soft, caring, and oh so gentle. His voice held no harshness, no bitter aftertaste. Simply true, uninterrupted care. Jack's mouth hung open, but he couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say. He looked back down at his railing, unsure of what to do. The Swede took light, careful steps over to him, and soon he was standing next to him, hesitantly placing his own hand on Jack's railing.

"Sean," It was almost a whispered, "Sean, look at me," While it was a command, it held no harshness. Jack weakly looked up at Felix and blue met blue. Jack's eyes were red and puffy, tear remnants still staining them. Felix's were deep, but not piercing. He looked so scared as if Jack was an injured animal who could jump at any moment, "Please," Felix gently placed his hand on top of Jack's, and the Irishman looked away. Even with his heart broken in pieces, it could still beat, "Tell me what's wrong," Jack was silent for a moment.

"I..." He tried, unable to look back up at Felix, "I... I can't..." His voice faltered, daring to break again. A strong, reassuring hand appeared on his back.

"Of course you can," Felix soothingly reassured.

"No," Jack spoke, shaking his head as tears threatened him, "You don't understand... I can't," He insisted.

"If you tell me, then I will understand. Please, Sean," Felix squeezed Jack's hand lightly and rubbed calming circles on his back.

"Felix..." Jack whispered, pleading for it to stop. He was going to break down again if it continued.

"Sean, you can tell me," No he couldn't, "It'll be alright," No it won't, "I won't leave you with this," Yes you will.

"Okay!" Jack croaked loudly, startling Felix as he shimmied out of his grasp and took a step away from him to face him. It was time, "Okay," He repeated, calmer. Felix stared at Jack, complete care and anticipation in his eyes.

"I..." Jack tried to start. He looked away from Felix, "I-I..." He tried again, "I..." He tried louder, hoping that putting power in his voice would put power in himself. There was no right way to do this, "I-I have...! F... F-Feelings...!" His breathing started to get quicker. If he didn't say it soon, he never would, "I-I have...! Feelings! For... F-for... I-I have feelings for you!" He blurted loudly, panting after he did so. He took a deep, shaky breath. Trying to steady himself.

Silence. Felix wasn't saying anything. Jack wearily looked up at Felix. He was shocked. For some reason, that sent him flying over the edge. He burst into tears as loud sobs escaped him, causing Felix to jump in surprise.

"A-And I know this isn't right! I know this is *hic* is weird! A-and I know *sob* I-I know you probably h-hate me now! A-and I know you're *hic* s-straight! A-and-!"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Felix interrupted, taking a large step towards Jack and closing the distance between them, "Hey, it's alright!" He soothed, wrapped his arms around Jack and pulling him in tightly, "It's alright," He lowered his voice, holding Jack as he continued to sob.

"I'm sorry," Jack hoarsely whispered as he heaved, clutching tightly to Felix as he held him.

"Hey, don't be," Felix said softly, rubbing Jack's back, "I don't hate you," Felix gently reassured, "And who told you I was straight, anyway?"

Jack slowly opened his eyes as his heaving slowed. Did he... did he hear that right? He lifted his head up and looked up into Felix's eyes, confusion mixed in his eyes with his tears.

"Wh... what did you say?" He whispered.

"Jack," Felix began, then breathed a laugh, "I'm not straight,"

"You..." Jack began, trying to get his thoughts in order, "You're... you're not?" He asked, confusedly, "But... but what about that girl... at Rosie's..." Felix looked confused for a second before chuckling slightly.

"Jack... that was my sister," Felix admitted.

"Your... she's your..." Jack stuttered. He pulled out of Felix's embrace, embarrassed with himself, "Oh my god," He shook his head as he pulled away, but Felix would not let go of his hands, "I'm... I'm so sorry... I-I thought..." He hunched his shoulders and tried to curl into himself, wanting to be anywhere but here.

"Hey, it's okay," Felix soothed once more, pulling Jack closer again, "It was an honest misunderstanding," He assured, trying to get Jack to look at him, "But..." He began, causing Jack to tense, "You... like me?" He asked. Jack could practically feel the shame crawling on his back. He nodded silently, not wanting to look at the disgust that was probably on Felix's face. The Swede let out a laughing breath, his lips turning up into a smile. Jack could feel the tears coming back. Felix was making fun of him.

"Don't laugh..." Jack said hoarsely, his voice breaking. Felix stiffened, realising what he had unintentionally implied.

"No, Jack... I'm not laughing at you. It's just..." Felix shifted his weight. Jack closed his eyes, readying himself for the rejection, "It's a fucking miracle," He breathed out. Jack shot his eyes open and slowly looked up at Felix, his eyes full of confusion and hope.

"A miracle?" He whispered, staring into Felix's eyes. Now it was Felix's turn to look away.

"I've, um," Felix rubbed his thumbs over Jack's hands gently, "I've had... Feelings for you. For, uh... for a long time now," He paused to think, "I just..." He looked back up into Jack's eyes, "Never thought you felt the same way," Jack stared into him, his mind going crazy as he thought of all the times Felix must have felt the same embarrassment, the same heat on his cheeks, and he never noticed. Felix's gaze drifted down, "Last week when... when you came over... and I kissed you. I..." Felix stiffened, and he squeezed Jack's hands, "...I thought I fucked up. I thought... I thought you hated me... for what I did... for how I felt..." He clenched his jaw, and Jack could see how much he hurt. How much they had hurt each other by not talking.

"No, Felix," Jack whispered, leaning his head down to look into Felix's eyes properly, "I don't hate you," He shook his head softly, "I couldn't," A small smile formed on Felix's lips. Jack straightened his neck, "I... I actually... Really enjoyed that kiss... Maybe... Maybe even a little too much," Jack admitted, doing nothing to hide the slight blushed that formed on his puffy cheeks, smiling as he did so.

"Really?" Felix asked softly, voice full astonishment and relief, "You liked my super drunk, super sloppy, gross kiss?" He asked, beginning to giggle. Jack couldn't help but giggle along with him.

"Well," Jack said between giggles, "I guess I just..." His gaze met with Felix's once again, "I had been waiting to do that for so long that... I was willing to take anything," He admitted, "... Even if it was sloppy and gross," He laughed.

"Well," Felix gulped nervously, causing Jack to straighten out of worry, "I, uh... I can do better, y'know... If... If you'd let me try again?" He looked at Jack hopefully. Jack relaxed, a smile growing on him.

"I'd like that," He whispered, staring back at Felix with just as much hope.

Felix slowly began to lean in closer, hesitant. Jack tried to as well, both of them inching their faces closer and closer to each other. They could feel each other's hot breath against their faces, and they both hesitated, mere millimetres away from each other. They stared into each other's eyes, both a little afraid of what was to come but still so so hopeful. Felix's lips lightly brushed against Jacks before pulling away, as if fearful. That small touch alone sent Jack reeling, and he needed more. Without thinking, he quickly closed the distance between them, harshly pressing his lips against Felix's. A split second of fear passed through his mind. Fear of the reaction, but the feelings took over. He leaned himself fully into Felix, his eyes closing as he tried to press closer to him. The Swede began to kiss back finally, and then they were both goners. Felix leaned in just as hard, closing his eyes as he turned his head to the side to hopefully allow as much lip contact as possible. They gripped their hands together, but Felix broke the hold of one of their hands and brought it up to Jack's neck, holding him tightly. Possessive, as if letting holding him too light would let Jack slip through his fingertips. Jack took his free hand and clung it to Felix's shirt with his own possessive, needy hold. Jack let out a gasp of air through his nose, letting go of a breath he didn't know he had. When he wasn't completely drunk Felix's lips were soft and moist, his saliva almost tasting sweet on Jack's lips. They stayed pressed tightly together, the world disappearing around them. After a little bit, their holds on each other lightened, their knuckles beginning to hurt after they had turned white for so long. They held each other softly, pressed as close together as they could be. They would have stayed like that if they didn't need air. Jack finally broke it, slowly backing off of Felix's lips. His eyes fluttered open at the same time Felix's did, and they stared half-lidded at each other.

"Better?" Felix whispered. Jack smiled warmly.

"Better," Jack reassured. Felix smiled. They closed their eyes again and pressed their heads together, wrapping their arms around each other in a warm embrace. They giggled together, drunk on love.

"Y'know," Felix began in hushed tones, "None of this would have happened if we had just talked about it," He chuckled. Jack giggled with him.

"I like it better this way," Jack replied just as quiet, smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I'm entering the busiest work month and I don't have a lot of free time but dammit if I'm not going to write this story for the month of February. I'm gonna do it!! I will!
> 
> Next chap should be up in 2-3 days :) This is gonna be a pretty heavy dialogue story so if you're not into that then this might not be for you.
> 
> Anyway not much happens in this chapter. It's mostly just building the "scene" y'know?


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